Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
