dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
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Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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