We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I need moral support for this bender
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
