There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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