dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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