I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
