dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
