your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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