I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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