Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
