don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm always down for nudity.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
