Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
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Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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