hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
