that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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