Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize