I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
