make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize