Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
