Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
