is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize