Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
