I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
