I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
