I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
