Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
