I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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