I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
