I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
