i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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