but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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