This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he thought i was a dude.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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