Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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