Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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