No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
