Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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