dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
