Fuck appropriateness.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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