he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
