Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
