does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
