nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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