God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
