I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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