You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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