are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
