so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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