i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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