I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Alive.
So much puke
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
