Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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