I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
