that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Randomize
