Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
worst night to have a conscience
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
