sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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